In a divorce, children are often the members of the disbanded family that suffer the most. This article will examine the issue of how children and youths are affected by divorce from scholarly, psychological and religious viewpoints.
Opinions from Scholarly Sources
In their book Growing Up with a Single Parent, Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur explain that divorce can contribute to children having lower incomes as well as higher rates of dropping out of high school.
Furthermore, there is a greater risk of these kids eventually becoming single parents themselves. The authors emphasize the importance of governments changing social policies to better assist the increasing number of divorced families, including more programs.
Divorce can be a neverending cycle. If your parents divorced and had a hostile relationship, there is a good chance that you too will get married and divorce or have a negative outlook on marriage entirely.
You may also have difficulty trusting people, especially those whom you date. Yes, breaking isn’t so hard to do (from a legal standpoint) but a couple’s decision to part ways can definitely have an adverse effect on your children’s future romantic relationships.
Those children and youths who’ve experienced marital breakdown and animosity between their parents often suffer from low self-esteem and may become promiscuous.
What Do Psychologists and Counselors Say?
In the article Divorce Hurts Children, Even Grown Ones, Dr. Jan Gumbiner states that divorce during childhood can have a long-lasting effect on an individual, even if they are much older now. In her professional opinion, divorce is never good.
Her research looks at the explosion of divorce among couples in the 1970s. At the time, public opinion was of the belief that divorce did little or no harm to children. When one parent is given sole custody and works many hours, there isn’t as much time to spend with the children or take them to sports or extracurricular activities. For teenagers, burning resentment can lead to rebellion and even getting in trouble with the law.
If you find yourself falling in love with somebody who comes from a divorced home, there are a few things you need to take into consideration. First off, that person may very well be hesitant to get married, because logically they’re scared to death of getting a divorce. Secondly, your future husband or wife (hopefully) will most likely value a stable relationship. As a child, they were shuffled from pillar to post every other weekend. They don’t want to go through that again.
Also, your life partner may very well have a favorite parent. During holidays, you’ll spend time with both of his/her parents, but one could be more valued than the other. Lastly, children of divorced couples will often either adhere strictly to monogamy or be very promiscuous.
This is merely food for thought in case you do find yourself in this situation. Clinch Long Woodbridge, a divorce lawyer in Sydney, advises consulting with a psychologist or therapist to help you and your children manage the particulars of your situation and reduce the possibility of these potential negative outcomes of divorce.
The Point of View of the Christian Church
Divorce is frowned upon by the Bible. This belief extends to the majority of Christian denominations in the US and around the globe.
According to Catholic Stand, adult children of divorce have a greater chance of being fearful of intimacy as well as living with another person in the marriage covenant. There is also a fear of having children, as they don’t want them to experience divorce as well.
These different viewpoints on how divorce affects children can give you some important information to consider as you decide to divorce. Ultimately it is a very personal decision, but one that should be made with great care, especially if you have children.